


The Other Side

by MissGraceOMalley



Series: The Various Deaths of Darcy Lewis [7]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:40:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21657691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissGraceOMalley/pseuds/MissGraceOMalley
Summary: To fall for a mortal, a Midgardian, was abhorrent to even think about. But that's exactly what the God of Mischief did. Until he lost her.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Loki
Series: The Various Deaths of Darcy Lewis [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1128056
Comments: 11
Kudos: 110





	The Other Side

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**The Other Side**

_"Just let me give you the freedom to dream,_

_And it will wake you up and cure your aching._

_Take your walls and start 'em breaking,_

_Now that's a deal that seems worth taking._

_But, I guess, I'll leave that up to you."_

_The Other Side – Zac Efron & Hugh Jackman (The Greatest Showman)_

His screams were louder than anything the King of Asgard could dare yell at him.

It was unfair.

His little human deserved more than the fate she had received.

She had been so lifeless against him, so unlike what she had been when her heart beat. When it had beat for _him_.

Loki, son of Odin, was the God of Mischief. He was spoilt and petulant and downright ornery when needed, but a good man nonetheless. Especially when he found _her_.

"It was supposed to be me!" Loki screamed. His magic lashed out around him, crippling the guards that lined the wall in his rage. He knew his façade was slipping, revealing the blue monster that lay dormant in his veins except around _her_ , but he couldn't find it in himself to care. "The archer will pay. I will make him pay!"

"You will calm yourself immediately!" Odin roared, banging his staff against the grand marble of the throne room. "Your brother is overseeing that as we speak. You will _not_ return to Midgard until – "

"I refuse to miss her burial. Whether here or there."

"It is _not_ up for debate."

He sneered. "Like Asgard has ever been able to hold me. You have no hold over me, neither does this realm – "

"All this over a mortal?"

Loki softened almost immediately. "She was never just a mortal. Mother knew, everyone knew, except you! You refused to believe that someone could love me – "

"I never doubted that someone could love you. I merely doubted that you could return such an affection."

* * *

Midgard was never his home. Sure, he dabbled in history here and there, causing a bit of chaos when it suited him, but he preferred the other realms more. Asgard was home – save for the people that didn't acknowledge him as the crowned prince.

They feared his magic, even more so when his true heritage was revealed.

But his little Midgardian never flinched. She was not afraid of his horns, his chill. She thought he was just as beautiful as the glamour he projected.

_"What? Do you think your blueberry act scares me? Newsflash – I'm a child of horror! I grew up watching things that would make even the manliest of men squeamish. What are you gonna do? Smurf me to death?"_

_It was their first fight. One that came on the heels of the battle that he had chose to fight beside his brother instead of against him._

_Loki snarled, "I could do much more than that you insolent child! Do you not fear me? I could break your mortal body before you could_ blink _. One touch and you would – no!"_

_She had grabbed his hand and placed it against the bare skin of her chest. Horror swept through him. He had killed her. He had killed the only woman beside his mother that had ever looked at him with nothing but tenderness._

_"You won't hurt me," she whispered, stepping closer to him. Her curls hung like a halo around her pale face and he had to keep his heart from stuttering. "You can't – "_

_"I_ can _. You are mortal – "_

_"And you love me," she finished. A smile tugged at her plush lips and she brought his hand to her cheek instead. "You don't have to say it."_

Loki wished he would have. He wished he would've said it a million times over in crowded rooms and public places instead of the dead of night when she had fallen asleep on his chest.

Instead, he was alone in his chambers with only her ghost for company.

There was a knock on his door and a golden head popped through. "Father has permitted her funeral. Here. She may be properly bound for Valhalla if you would like," Thor said quietly. "Lady Jane said she would heartily approve. Your Lady had no family on Midgard."

Rather than hiss and spit curses at his brother, Loki merely nodded. "Thank you. I shall see to it."

"If you need – "

"Thank you."

* * *

Typically, it was frowned upon to be buried on Asgard. When there was a death, it was expected for the soul to return to Valhalla by means of a fire-y send off.

But she had wished to be buried in the gardens that they had tended together.

_"Can't you just, I don't know, make it appear?" She asked in frustration. Her curls were damp against her neck and her cheek dusted with dirt. She was beautiful. "Or maybe we could ask Thor to bring it."_

_Loki grunted. "Soil? You want me to just_ make _soil appear?"_

_"It would be helpful!"_

_"Contrary to popular belief, I can't just_ want _something into existence. I have interdimensional pockets that I fill with practical things and, I apologize, but I never thought soil was particularly practical!"_

_His tone was anything but apologetic and he barely managed to duck as she threw a small shovel at him._

_"You're infuriating!" She screeched, stomping her foot. "I just want a beautiful place to sleep when I die!"_

_"What?" The anger bled out of his shoulders. "What do you mean?"_

_"When I die? Kick the bucket? Get my ticket punched – "_

_Loki pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, I'm aware of the concept of death. What I was asking is why are you thinking about it?"_

_"Oh." Her brows creased before she shrugged. "Well, I'm a human. You're a god. I'm gonna die, like, way before you. Your dad already approved an apple for Jane – he's not gonna want me around, too, so I can annoy him forever."_

_"But…"_

_He hadn't thought about that. He hadn't thought that one day he would have to live without her. Lady Jane's apple had been tedious and almost impossible to get – Odin felt that humans shouldn't be blessed to live as long, no matter the reason._

_"So…I thought I could be buried here," she continued, her red lips smiling. "That way I'm still close to you and you won't…you won't forget about me."_

_Loki's heart broke and he cradled her face in his hands. The affection he felt for a mere mortal was more than he had ever felt before. "I will_ never _forget you. You are my sun and stars and I would move Valhalla and Midgard for you, if only you asked."_

_"But not the soil."_

_He hung his head as a smile tugged on his lips. "No, not the soil."_

But now the garden was beautiful. There were blue irises and ivy in abundance, reminding him of the exact shade of her eyes.

The balcony of his room overlooked the garden and he knew exactly where he wanted to bury her. As he would soon follow, as well. For how long could he live in a world without her?

* * *

"I fear for him, Father," Thor said quietly, his rumbling voice echoing in the throne room. "Loki has never been one to express grief. Her death may end up destroying him."

Odin nodded thoughtfully. His son had not been taking meals nor willing to leave the west gardens since the burial. "I confess not to know what to do. You mother, rest her soul, was much better at matters of the heart than I could ever hope to be."

Gods weren't easily killed; it wasn't something that was often fretted over. The mere mention of suicide made the people of Asgard antsy. If they knew their prince was contemplating it? Their morale would be wounded.

"Asgard would still have a ruler – "

"Can you not bring her back?"

"As I told Loki, the mortal's death is regrettable – "

"The _mortal_? She had a name! She was good and kind. She did not deserve the death that was handed to her."

"And has anyone dealt with the archer?"

Thor looked down. "He was influenced by the void. The mighty titan. He is not at fault. Loki only attacked New York to get his lady love back – safe and whole."

The older man clicked his tongue. "Yet nothing happened that was promised."

* * *

_"What do you dream about?"_

_Loki looked up at the ceiling and smiled softly. "I dream of a world where I never have to worry about losing you. Where you and I are safe and can do whatever we wish."_

_She hummed softly against his chest. Her small hand traced the dark patterns on his blue skin and she softly said, "I feel like that would be a good dream."_

_"It's the best that I've ever had."_

He was awake before the dream even finished. Her soft voice was still ringing in his ears and he was sure that he could feel her warm skin against his chest. But there were phantom memories. Things he would never hear nor feel ever again.

The sun filtering in through his grand curtains danced across his closed eyelids and it was with great effort that he managed to pry them open. Awakening each morning was becoming more and more of a chore that he wished he would be rid of.

Thinking about what had occurred on Midgard, before his love had lost her life, made him think that she wouldn't have forgiven him for what he had done. Under the titan's thumb, he was forced to kill and maim and destroy every bit of trust that she had in him. But when the chance came for her to try to bring him back to her, she had jumped on it. Quite literally.

_"Loki! Stop moving!"_

_His head whipped around and he saw a petite brunette clutching onto the back of the arachnid, zooming closer to him on one of the Chitauri's flying devices. The scepter was uncomfortably warm against his palm. He knew that girl. But how? His memories from…before were so scrambled that they didn't make sense._

_"Nat, get me closer! I'm gonna jump for it," he heard her yell._

_"Of course,_ myshka _, do you have your parachute?"_

_"Yes! Now, zoom zoom, Nat!"_

_Loki dived the same time that she jumped. Her boots were obviously too big for her and she skidded against the smooth metal. Against his better judgment, he reached for her and hauled her aboard, his arm wrapped tightly around her slim waist._

_"Loki! Oh my god, baby! Are you okay? Do you remember me?"_

_"I…"_

_"Oh, fuck it."_

_And then she was kissing him. In the middle of battle while things exploded around them. Her full lips pressed insistently against his while visions flashed behind his eyelids._

_He and the girl in different places. Asgard, Misgard, a small cabin, a beautiful garden._

_"My love…"_

_"Loki!" She pulled back and grinned widely at him. "You remember me?"_

_"How could I ever forget the love of my existence?"_

_And it was true. The titan must've had a large hold over him to make him forget the girl that was engrained so deeply into his psyche. The girl that had put him back together again multiple times and loved him despite every wrongdoing that he had ever done._

_Her blue eyes filled with tears and she clung to him, her tears hot against his throat. The scepter was dropped and forgotten as his arms encircled her, trying to prove to himself that she was real. That this was really happening and wasn't just a fever dream induced by another round of torture._

_Too many things happened at once._

_An arrow whizzed through the air and he turned her just at the right time to feel the sharp end buried deep into the meat of his shoulder._

_"Loki! Baby! Are you okay? Are you –_ oh _."_

_Her eyes went wide and her mouth stopped moving. It was a few still moments before he felt wetness blooming against the front of his armor._

_Time stood absolutely still as her shaking hand reached for his face. "Loki?"_

_"No, stay awake, my love. Everything will be fine – "_

Thump!

_Her body jolted against him once more and when she opened her mouth to speak, her even little teeth were tainted with blood._

_"I love you," she whispered. "I love you so much."_

_Her animated blue eyes were dimming quickly. The tears that had been gathering spilled over and trailed down her pale cheeks._

_"No. No!"_

His fist met the stone wall of his chambers and he simply gritted his teeth against the pain that blossomed. Any sort of pain that he could feel was better than remembering the feel of her lifeless body in his arms.

He had just gotten her back just to have her ripped away again.

With a sigh, he made his way down to the gardens. He had a lot to think about.

* * *

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months as Loki attempted to work through the trauma that had been inflicted upon him. He didn't take meals with what remained of his family nor did he greet the people of Asgard on outings that were required of him. He didn't do anything.

The magic that used to tingle in his fingertips and race through his veins was no longer there; it had simply stopped one day. He wasn't sure when, or why, but he had no reason to try to salvage whatever was left. Perhaps there was part of him that thought if his magic left him that he would be easier to kill.

_"How do you even do that?" His little love asked. The liquid in her teacup was as blue as her eyes and was mimicking the ocean with such clarity that she longed for the beach. "Is it something I can learn how to do?"_

_He smiled smugly. "Are you a witch?"_

_"Well, no."_

_"Do you have any ancestors that had any sort of magical inclination?"_

_"I don't think so."_

_"Then, unfortunately, my love, I don't think that you'd be able to learn."_

That hadn't discouraged her, though. Whenever she thought that he wasn't looking, her nose would scrunch in the most adorable way and she'd focus entirely too long on something in hopes of making it move. Sometimes, he took pity on her and discreetly waved his hand. When her head would shoot up, eyes bright with triumph, he would congratulate her. Even though it was simply mischief.

His feet led him through the palace. There wasn't a certain place he was heading, it just felt good to move. The sun had long ago set and was slowly beginning to rise against the horizon once more and there was an idle thought of how long he had been walking.

"Brother? Are you well?"

Loki looked up from his polished boots and met his brother's unwavering gaze. It was full of concern and he must've earnestly wanted to help.

"I've been better," was the terse response. There wasn't much he really wanted to say anyway.

The blond nodded sympathetically. "Is there anything that anyone can do to help?"

"Not in this realm," he sighed. "But thank you. I…I think I'm going to take a bit of time away from Asgard." He held up his hand to stop the other man. "I won't be going to Midgard. As much as I would like to rip the mortal archer down to nothing, she…she was his friend. And I know that she wouldn't want me to hurt him. Or kill him."

Thor cocked his head. "Where will you go?"

"Away. I will return, eventually. I want to thank you for being there for me during this time. I know that it's been difficult."

He softened. "I loved her, too, Loki. I hope that you find what you're looking for."

"Me, too, brother."

* * *

It took a lot of favors and a lot of gold to secure his way to Hel.

Loki never thought he would make the walk alone – or, rather, at all if he was being honest. He often thought about the muggle phrase 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'.

Did that mean that no matter how good your intentions were, you would still end up in the underworld? Or did it mean that works were better than thoughts?

"And why do I have a son of Odin in my realm?"

Loki looked up at the goddess that scrutinized him. Half of her face was golden; beautiful and rich with life. The other half was withered away, showcasing how life was often taken.

"I come before you, goddess, as but a humble servant with a favor to ask." As he spoke, he had taken a knee in front of her great throne. His head was bowed in humility for he never thought he would ask a favor from someone else. "A favor, which if granted, would benefit you in a way."

Hel cocked her head and waved her hand. "Go on."

"I won't ask for the life of my love back, but I will ask to join her. There is no poison on Asgard that can help me take my own life. No weapon to extinguish neither my presence nor a curse to rid me of my plight. I ask for a way to leave this realm," he paused and took a deep breath. "Even if that means that I won't grace the gates of Valhalla."

"You wish for death."

It wasn't a question and Loki wasn't stupid enough to answer.

"And what do I have to gain from the son of Odin's demise?"

Loki took a shuddering breath. "There will be no more mischief. No souls wandering through your halls because of me. There will be no more unneeded death or strife. The realms will rest easy without a trickster in their midst."

She implored, "And you would give up your place in Valhalla? For this love?"

"I would give up Valhalla a million times over. After all, it can't compare to how it felt to be with her."

* * *

The next fortnight was spent getting his affairs in order as quietly as he could without calling attention to himself. His rooms were sparse, leaving no argument that he didn't plan on coming back, and, while Thor attempted to get him to confess, he was silent on most matters.

The hardest task he faced was joining his family once again.

Meals were taken in the hall with other Asgardians who were relieved to see their youngest prince out and about after the death of his ladylove. He hadn't the heart to correct them. During most of the meal times, he actively tried to engage in conversation, offering his opinion when warranted and asking after people he hadn't seen nor talked to in a very long time. In was all to keep up with appearances.

During that fortnight, a little vial was burning a hole in his pocket. A little vial that had been obtained from Hel for the very reason he petitioned. The goddess had not given it without much thought and decided to grant his boon in the end, much to his surprise.

"My prince, it's so good to see you once more," one of the Court said, her smile a tad too tight. Her brown eyes were filled with sympathy and she lowered her voice to add, "When we heard about the Lady Dar – "

"Don't say her name." It was a whisper that carried the weight of a most heavy threat and the woman recoiled almost instantly.

"My prince, I meant no disrespect."

But Loki was already up and out of the hall, his long stride leading him once more to _her_ garden. What was the point with bothering with other Asgardians? They would have a prince even when he was no longer here. They would flock to Thor and grieve together about the wayward son that was simultaneously too much and not enough for their realm.

A pity, really.

Throughout his time alive, he often was interested in Midgardian literature. Particularly the ones that had tragic ends. It was with irony that he realized he was going to end up taking the same way out as young Juliet did, but his love wouldn't rise after he had fallen.

"You never did particularly care for Shakespeare, my love," he said softly to the marble headstone that was situated just above her resting place. "No, you preferred stories with happy endings. But, of course, that didn't mean that you didn't like a little angst or tragedy thrown in; you just wanted everyone to have a happy ending at the end."

_"Oh, fuck, Loki! Right there!"_

_He was just along for the ride at this point, literally. She sat above his hips and twisted herself every which way to feel him as deep as possible as her nails dug into his chest in order to gain leverage. His own hands curled into her hips as he thrust into her from below on her every down stroke, her keen of pleasure loud for anyone to hear._

_They spent a lot of time between the sheets of her bed in the tower. Or the ground. Kitchen counters and his own bed weren't off limits either. They spent a lot of time wherever they pleased. Naked or not._

_She screamed out her release the second the head of his cock hit that special place inside her, her nails dug deeper and drew blood as she convulsed around him. It took a mere moment for him to follow after her, eagerly filling her awaiting womb with his seed._

_The energy was leached from her body and she collapsed onto his chest with small, harsh little pants. As was normal after their couplings, his skin flowed into the blue that she loved so much in an effort to cool her down while remaining joined. Little fingers traced his patterns once more and he closed his eyes against the tenderness she showed all of his forms._

_"I never want this to end," she whispered against his skin._

_He looked down at the top of her head in surprise. "Why would it end?"_

_She shrugged. "Because things can only end when everything's okay. Y'know, the saying, 'if it's not okay, then it's not the end'. Well, we've been okay for a long time now. What if…what if it ends?"_

_"You're such a hopeless romantic, my love," he chucked. His fingers tangled in her curls and stroked them softly. "Not everything has a happy ending, but I'm quite certain you and I will. You've changed me for the better; I couldn't ask for a better woman to spend my time with."_

_She hid a smile and cuddled closer. "I love you so much, Loki."_

He blinked away the memory and it dimly registered that the sun had set.

With a parting glance at her grave, he stiffly made it back to the palace. The time was coming and he knew it. It did no good to prolong the inevitable when his soul had long ago left him.

* * *

It was a Wednesday when he decided that it was time. It seemed fitting, seeing as it was her favorite day of the week.

Loki had woken up that morning to a peace he hadn't felt since he lost her. A peace that made it clear to him that it was time to let go and walk on the other side. He had even taken his breakfast with his father and Thor, just absorbing their presence because he was sure that he would never see either of them again. His rooms were cleaned of his things and he was sure that there would be nothing of importance left behind.

It was with minimal effort he made his way down to the gardens, little vial in hand. There was no confusion or hesitation about his decision. For once in his life, he was absolutely sure that he was doing the right thing.

Taking a seat on the grass in front of her grave, he rested his elbow on his knee, his chin against the heel of his palm as he thought about how wonderful it would be to see her again.

There was little fanfare as he uncorked the bottle and cleanly downed the contents in a single swig. He didn't feel any different, but poison took a while to work from what he understood of mortals.

"Brother? Are you well?"

Loki closed his eyes and nodded. "Yes, Thor. Thank you."

"You seem to be coping well – what's in your hand?"

His eyelids were growing very heavy. The breath in his lungs seemed to stutter and it took him a moment to awaken himself enough to slowly say, "The reason why I am able to cope. Tell our father that…that I'm sorry for being a disappointment. There's…a letter in my rooms."

"Brother? Loki?"

_When had his eyes closed? It was much easier to open them this time around and he eagerly did, completely dumbfound at what he saw._

_There were gates in front of him, surrounded by white. The white that made everything look clean and pure. Definitely not what he should've been seeing since he made a deal with Hel._

_"She changed her mind, y'know."_

_He turned and saw the most beautiful woman he had ever seen walking towards him. Her mahogany curls were long and glossy, her blue eyes wide and excited. She was wearing a long, white dress that skimmed the ground._

_"Darcy?" He breathed, thoroughly enchanted. "What – "_

_"Hel," Darcy said with a soft shrug. "She changed her mind when she saw what you were willing to go through to be with me. I didn't want you following me."_

_He hung his head. "I couldn't live in a world without you. I couldn't pretend that I wasn't falling apart."_

_"I know, baby. I watched it all. And I'm so sorry you were by yourself."_

_His guilt propelled him forward and she was in his arms as quick as he could blink. Her body was soft against his and he simply held her, wondering how the gods could've taken such pity on him._

_"I'll never have to be without you again."_

_Darcy pulled away and cupped his face in her hands, smiling when his skin tinged blue. "Never again, baby. We can be together forever now. There's no stopping us."_

_"It's okay, now," he whispered, his forehead resting against hers as he lost himself in her ocean eyes. "You said that if it wasn't okay, then it wasn't the end. It's okay, now, so that means it's the end."_

_"Oh, Loki, it's not the end." She smiled wide and kissed him like they'd never lost time. "It's only the beginning."_

Loki, son of Odin, was the God of Mischief.

But, in the end, even mischief could be rewarded.

He finally found a realm that could hold him, with the love of his existence.

Because even though it was okay, it was far from the end.


End file.
